two years ago, i was at the esplanade watching the fireworks.
one year ago, i was at home typing an entry about 2004.
two years after, im alone at home facing the four corners of room. each corner of the room is devouring my soul, pulling me into the deep dark pits hidden behind these corners. what happened two years ago still stay fresh in my mind. the stark vividness of these memories seem to be playing in my dreams like a film without sound. every actions, every movements are being played at your own pace. like the movie "click", i can choose to pause at my favourite moments, fast forward the sad memories and rewind the sweet words she had spoken to me before.

so by now, most of my close friends will go:alright, theres goes ivan with his stories of his ex. wont he get tired over that girl? bullshit la.

the truth is, ive gotten over her. what i cant get over are those memories. as a matter of fact, i missed those days.

*wssssssssssssh*
today is 8/8/2004.
and great, today was a great and definitely the happiest day of my life. i had just went out with my sweetie molester, esther fan. shes now at her fellowship programme i suppose, doing some work throughout the whole night. i hope she is doing just fine. you want to know why i blog about what happened today? BECAUSE IM THE LUCKIEST MAN ON EARTH TO HAVE ESTHER AS MY GIRL. i wonder hwo many readers would be thinking that this guy has some screws loose in his head. yea yea yea, u guys are just jealous of me.
i can still remember everything that happened today, okay, i can remember because it happened only just now. bah. i met her at 6.30pm at the choa chu kang control station. okay, i wasnt late for our second date, but recalling back, i was late for 10 mins on our first date to catch the movie superman. while on the way to meet her, i thought she forget everything about the date. i kept messaging her, until the fourth of fifth did she replied that she will be late. reason? she was watching movie with her friends in the afternoon. thank god.
the mrt was freaking packed. people pushing around, struggling to get a space on board the already crowded mrt. and there was this guy, a bloody asshole. he almost tripped and fall onto my gal. ah, darn u. afraid of any possible mishaps, i held her closely to me.
the fireworks display starts at 8.30pm but we were already there at 7.30. oh great, we got to wait for one hour. and for this hour, we spend some "quality" time making fun of each other. there was this cute lil boy. he came over and sat beside us. he gave a smile to esther but not me. !@E#@$!@!3 because of my big eyes and head? i'll remember that kid! then we went on talking about our future, about how many kids we would wan? im only sec 4? too young for that i suppose. she almost slaughtered me when i said if she give birth to a kid next time, as the child's dad, i would like the child and no longer his/her mom. piak* one tight slap on my lap.
fifteen minutes to the fireworks display, we walked to the open space outside esplanade( aka wc's backyard). she held my pinkie finger, my right pinkie finger.
during the fireworks, i held your hands tighly and look at you. you look at me too. at this very moment, there's this very special feeling that ran through my soul. i knew from then, that this gal standing in front of me, will be the girl of my life. and i will not let her go unless she let me go. didnt tell her these words but i belive that our thoughts are already known.
the fireworks ended fast enough, and the crowd start to disperse. walking to the outdoor performance stage, i saw jessie with shaun. okay, quite suprised to see someone i know among this pack of people.
we then proceed to the fountain which is at the entrance of the esplanade. we sat over there. now eveything happen to quickly.
our forehead were resting against one another.
we could hear each other breaths.
we could feel each other heartbeats.
our eyes are intersecting and they are speaking words that cant be heard.
our souls caressing, our minds in hold, our heart tied by the love knot.
you leaned forward, kissed me on my left cheek.
i leaned forward and kissed you on your left cheek.
words unspoken but hearts linked.

im so glad to have you as my girl, and you are the sweetest person that ever cross my life.

=)

MATCHBOOK ROMANCE LYRICS
"Promise"

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me



i dont want any idiotic comments and tags regarding this entry. comments made are sensitive and actions will be taken against those who try to be arrogant. ignorance is not a bliss.