the ghost of you

There are so many things going through my mind, so many things in this life that I want to complete but with my amount of strength, I feel weak and fragile. I felt lost when things didnt go the way as planned. I saw myself being strangled by an entity in my dreams. I stuffocate and I kicked; I want to wake up from this nightmare and carry on with my life.

We dream, all of us do, but it is what we dream that matters. I dream very often, and seldom are my dreams sweet and peaceful. From my dreams recall, I've many experiences which felt so lucid as compared to the vivid dreams many people has. I got myself killed and I killed people; and many of such dreams felt so real that I woke up to check whether my limbs have been mutilated.

Do I believe in God? I hope so. I dont know why I am saying this but many things that are happening in this life has got me pondering of what religion is all about. Im a realistic person. I will believe but I believe in what I see. I question my faith and doubt His works. I want to see Him because I want to believe in God. Who knows. Maybe God is a She?

Shall sign off here. The bites from the sandflies are irritating me. I want to meditate while I let my thoughts answer my questions. Ciao`