i woke up this morning, thinking that,
maybe I no longer like you.
What are keeping me to write this diary are not my feelings,
but my memories.
I think I found a new girl in my life.
But, yep, you are still kept in a corner of my heart,
and never let go. =)

caused its just one sided
i just got so tired
with this love that wont come true
i duno whether will things come through
wit these feelings that are so confusing
i duno where am i heading
maybe all these while
my love has been with you
im giving it all to you
and im not taking it back
loving someone is not about possessing her
its about
seeing her happy with her life
Pray Lord,
that this girl that i onced love,
will stay happy and sweet.

=)

broke`

title:broke
writer:ivan

daddy please don go
mummy please hold on
for this love we are making on
is breaking into pieces that once belong
brother hug me close
sister dont let go
im going to be here
to pull you through this odds

can you live in a house with no love
when you look around
and see nothing but just holes
the floor is cold, the windows are close
but the heart in this room
is filled with nothing but just cross
he hit it hard on his soles
trying to bring himself to this reality
that what he is dreaming were just memories
and things are facts that wont change with histories
he sat down quietly by the side and cry
hoping that his dad will hear his words
but he is too busy with his work
and his ladies that lick his cork
he put out a gun and load it on
clocked it and shoot it in
to his head he killed himself
to relieve the pain he is inflicting on these shelves
he curses as he fell down hard
in his recorder he said
i love you dad

daddy please don go
mummy please hold on
for this love we are making on
is breaking into pieces that once belong
brother hug me close
sister dont let go
im going to be here
to pull you through these odds

his body was carry to the void
with his friends and brothers
he saw them mourn
but he is now a dead soul that wanders around
he could not hold or touches his love
mummy sat down crying in one corner
daddy kneeled down and begs for forgivness
siblings hugging at one another
friends being there for one another
brothers cursing him for leaving them here
the gal he love was crying till no tears
his body was cremated and scattered to the sea
like the cloud, the ashes flew with the wind
the family that he once had
is gone forever and
never come back

he came to his mother's dream
and told her to forgive his dad things
he touched her soul with his kisses
he hugged her close and cried with tears
"mummy i love you and this is true
go back to daddy, he loves you still"

broke`

title:broke
writer:ivan

daddy please don go
mummy please hold on
for this love we are making on
is breaking into pieces that once belong
brother hug me close
sister dont let go
im going to be here
to pull you through this odds

can you live in a house with no love
when you look around
and see nothing but just holes
the floor is cold, the windows are close
but the heart in this room
is filled with nothing but just cross
he hit it hard on his soles
trying to bring himself to this reality
that what he is dreaming were just memories
and things are facts that wont change with histories
he sat down quietly by the side and cry
hoping that his dad will hear his words
but he is too busy with his work
and his ladies that lick his cork
he put out a gun and load it on
clocked it and shoot it in
to his head he killed himself
to relieve the pain he is inflicting on these shelves
he curses as he fell down hard
in his recorder he said
i love you dad

daddy please don go
mummy please hold on
for this love we are making on
is breaking into pieces that once belong
brother hug me close
sister dont let go
im going to be here
to pull you through these odds

his body was carry to the void
with his friends and brothers
he saw them mourn
but he is now a dead soul that wanders around
he could not hold or touches his love
mummy sat down crying in one corner
daddy kneeled down and begs for forgivness
siblings hugging at one another
friends being there for one another
brothers cursing him for leaving them here
the gal he love was crying till no tears
his body was cremated and scattered to the sea
like the cloud, the ashes flew with the wind
the family that he once had
is gone forever and
never come back

he came to his mother's dream
and told her to forgive his dad things
he touched her soul with his kisses
he hugged her close and cried with tears
"mummy i love you and this is true
go back to daddy, he loves you still"

daddy, this rap that i've wrote
i wrote it for you

i thought of the past
about those stupid i've done to you
the pain that i've created in you
may had placed a scar so deep
that no matter what i do
it will still lingers on to you
the thought of these stlll hovers above my head
and i regret for every actions
that i've done to make you sad
you are the greatest dad
and i would not change with what i had
even if they ask me to take off my hat
i will never bow down to any craps
that may pull me down

daddy
i love you.

friends

we havent spoken to one another for days and weeks

neither have we smile to one another.

i think

ive lost a true friend

blame it on romance and me.

time

wont heal this space and hostility we had towards each other.

lost

a friend

=]

you dont know

how much tears i've cried for you?

=)

reasonance 1

ivan has 2 totally different personalities towards 2 entirely different genres of music. he loves classical music and hip-hop raps, which are on the different spectrum in the context of music.
i went back to peps and gave sectional practices to the young and cute juniors. oh well, not all are as adorable as it seems. some are mischievous assholes which pissed me off at the sight of them, while some are lovable angels, for instance norita and sabrina, sweet girls that make my day a nice one.

i think i need self-dispcipline to stay focus in my studies. i think my maths results in common test has make me become more complacent. this is a negative approach towards a good studying attitude. so from now on, i will study even on fridays and saturdays. =d this means that i wont meet up with my brothers so often from now on, maybe meet them when i ask them out for swimming.

unity sec. brought a great performance of their music talents. the departure of the previous instructor and arrival of the new one has make the band improved by almost ten folds. the band is now formidable and strong, with an entire new system of teachings and practices. i would say that this performance, "reasonance 1", was a successful and excellent one. good job guys.

i love my brother, eugene ng, only when he is playing his percussion. reasons because he looks cool and handsome, and most of all, he doesnt show his attitudes and tempers during these moments. apart from this, i think he can go and die. haa.. =]

lastly, to end this entry, i shall make an important annoucement. "i will try to be a more serious person with effect from next week." =] i will trrry.. haaa

i got back my common tests results this week. on the overall, i am satisfied that i saw an improvement in my gp(though i still fail) and an increasing interest towards macroeconomics, but not microeconomics. however, i am very very very very disappointed with my physics results. there are so many questions that i know i can answer, but i got it all wrong. XXXX wrong after wrong after wrong after wrong. geez. how can i score A for my physics in my 'A' level? big dreams uh. i thinki need more exposure of physics questions and practising of my math formulas. for economics and gp, i've got to write more essays to make show coherence and key points to achieving good grades.

i am praying hard so everyone could promote and progress as a class. jia you!

my sister is growing up, but i hope she still stay as the cute and young jasmine that ive always adore. its not that i no longer love her, but she is showing attitudes which i cant tolerate at all. i just pray hard she will be more sensible and mature as she grows up. geez. my sister is sooooo important to me. kick ass for those who ever dare to bully her.

'A' level fees came and it hit the jackport of $387.00. ah.. i feel my heart aching.

i am meeting my brothers in a few more hours. haf to pray hard that i wont get another police spot check. pleasee~~