i was actually quite pissed with that "u fucking loser!" on my tagboard. but when i come to think about it, about my actions which cause me much regrets, about slapping that guy which actually makes me a more sinful person, i think i should just let it go. so, "u fucking loser!" whatever it is or whatever ive done to say anything wrong, so be it. ok.peace out. spam one more time, den you are just wasting your time. i know my brothers are going to laugh to what i said but hell wit it, im changing alright.

enlightment is now a lightyear away for just one stupid action i've done.

ok, im working on a whole new rap now. it was actually meant for the spammers, that "u fucking loser!" or anyone else, but maybe i should rap about something more close to me, like my friends. (as what jinfeng said)

i cant think of a rap for my friends, so this rap is for jasmine and eugene. (my siblings)

hold me tight jasmine hold me close
close the door eugene i'll never let go
daddy and mummy are quarreling at the corridor
but brother is going to be here
to protect you from these storms

the windows are crashing
tears are flowing
i saw my mummy
sitting down and crying
the glasses are all shattered
with the family potrait that is burn to ashes
mummy is cursing daddy for all this shit
and daddy is drunk
not knowing what he did
i went over to hug my brother and sis
trying to shelther them from this crisis
daddy held up the chair and hit my spine
i fell down to the glasses
and blood start to rush
out of these vessels that are broken
like this family which are no longer heaven
daddy wants us to die together
to heaven he said
he loves us three

my brother and sister are crying badly
at the corridor where my mummy is sitting
i stood up with my feets and shouting
"whats wrong with you dad, cant you see them crying
i love you daddy and they love you too
why must u get drunk and come back home
hitting us like we are your dogs
wake up daddy look at mummy legs
she's bleeding and you cause all these"


hold me tight jasmine hold me close
close the door eugene i'll never let go
daddy and mummy are quarreling at the corridor
but brother is going to be here
to protect you from these storms

mummy is packing her stuffs
and daddy is begging her
"dont leave sweetheart dont leave me
the kids need you baby and so do me
im sorry for all i've done im really regret it
please give me one more chance to repent for all these shits"
"these shits are what you said, andy
you make me lost my heart for 4 times already
granddad just pass away and you went to pubs
drinking with prosititues and flirtin with them
my hands are flithy with your hair
if you love the kids you'll never do this
if you love me you'll never do this
and what more can you say now you tell me
when the odds are against you
and so is me"

jasmine is crying and so is eugene
i dont know what to do
god please help me
in this family that im living
im stuffocating im choking
im really dying
i hug my siblings tight and whisper these words
"im going to protect you kids,
brother always love you"

i pick up the glass pieces on the floor
slash it in my wrist and let the blood flows
i saw mummy and daddy rushing to my direction
i fell down and land on my dad shoulder
i touch my mom face with my bloody hands
"forgive dad and forget it
eugene and jasmine need you more than me
maybe till the day you 2 think about it
i did this for you and me"

=)