im feeling troubled and stressed up that i may not be able to finish my mid-year revision on time. half of the year is gone and the a level exams are coming in 5 months time. to tell you the truth, i really regret not withdrawing out of pjc at the promos last year. how stupid could i get that i didnt notice jc-life wasnt the cut for me. but having walking to this stage, this junction of life, i think it will be more practical to use this time spent on worries to study time. what i lack of is self-discipline in my work and time-management. the afternoons are often wasted on playing the computer or watching the tv. ah~ maybe i should lock up my lappy in the storeroom. my books are piling up on my table, and they seem to be calling out to me,"ivan! pick me up and scrutinize me! you need me. yes me! this level of expectations for myself is actually having some psychological effect. it daunting me from all these studies and i just feeeeeeel like giving up. if only i could live as freely as my brothers, maybe my life would be much better. why are we all in this rat-race of achieving good grades and certs, career achievement and personal satifaction? the champagnes dreams and caviar wishes, everyone is satiated by the life of luxury and pleasure. don you think so? humans cant get past with their greeds for power, some cant control their sexual drive, some dread for money, but at the end of all this, we are all trying to fulfil our personal needs and wants. to a certain extent, this may be subjective. oh well, whatever.

apart from this, the world cup is kicking off in a few more hours! and im going over to bb mac to study overnight with jinfeng and chunhui. but i doubt tonight revision will be a productive one, considering the fact that there will be live telecast of the match in the mac.

the previous spammer said that i'm self-centred and look up very little to my brothers. and the another one said that im scared because i blocked him from my tagboard. mmm. i saw this from cher's blog and i feel its totally right. if you put your name, tell me who you are, i'll still look up to these spammers. because at the least, they are strong , brave enough to stand up for their disagreements with me. but what im seeing are bullshit. using unknown names to scold me and spam my blog, wtf is wrong wit them?

they are the cause of all dramma.they are the lousiest, low-life, primitive-brained, protozoic life-forms.

and so, cherling has very good vocab usage to discribe these creatures. take note, i didnt say humans, i meant creatures.

maybe, at this moment, there are these creatures cursing me, using VOODOO doll to get the shit out of me. im fine with that, i dont mind being curse of stuff. one day, karma will turn around and bite back their souls. =) i don feel anger or annoyance for these creatures, i just pity these souls. how ugly would it be if their kids know that their dads or moms are once cowardly idiots in disguise.

it all happens after that incident on the last day of school. gah~ its a long incident and these fools are still crapping over it. did i hurt them or something? bah!