Thursday, March 30, 2006

a quote i came across in my email which i find it quite meaningful.

People have said time and again that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But what they will probably never understand is how I'll always be a winner for having loved you.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

changed

Changed`

my common tests are over but the best is yet to come. And that is the results of the tests. to tell the truth, i dont care about the 3 A levels passes that im supposed to clear, what matter to me the most is the result of my Gp paper. all i wanted is just a pass and thats it. at times, i felt that ive put in a lot of effort to improve my english, but the results just dont seem to show. instead of soaring to greater heights, my standard seems to be deterioriating. oh well, enough of studies for now.

things are getting back to normal after the papers. im able to rest well and have better management of my life. during the study period, my whole life was so messed up that i feel like breaking down a lot of times. that feeling of failure and dissatifaction is pulling me down and at times, its just too much for my shoulders to handle.now that im able to have better time management, i will start tidying up all my notes and gear myself towards the A level. its drawing nearer and nearer each day. 8 months are short. so to all those who are taking their As this year, all the best.

lets see, me,jinfeng,chunhui,charlene and jiahao are forming a saxophone quintet. we havent thought of a name for our group but chunhui suggests the "swing boys and girls". hmmm. thats like soooooo slaangg. weeee. i just love this group of people and my saxophone. i cant wait to get my hands on the saxophones. =]

having not meeting my brothers for 2 weeks are terrible. the fun and joy of my life seem to be kidnapped by the books and studies that had been occupying me for this period of time. but last night, we met up and went for a night cycling. *laugh. we cycled all the way from bukit panjang to holland village and back to bukit panjang, can u imagine the level of engery that are being drained away from your body. going up and down slopes, the speed of the bike just send u flying through the air. plus how lucky could we be, to be stopped by the police at a road block.

enough of everything. as from today, the way my blog will be publishing will be different. no more of my life and stories, i will start using this blog to practise my essay skills and invite all those who are reading to correct my mistakes. however, i will still post up some songs that i wrote. currently, im working on a duet piece. hopefully this will turn out to be the best song that ive wrote. =]

i think my ex has a guy she like. and i think i should just move on with life. memories are meant to be memories, and dreams are meant to be shattered. i will like a girl, and show her how i love and treasure her deeply in my heart.

and one last note before i go, dota is bad for health.

god bless. =]


Saturday, March 18, 2006

myboo

18/3/2006

theres is this particular soong in my playlist that totally suits my feeling.


"My Boo"(feat. Alicia Keys)

[Usher intro:]
There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

oh well, i should be studying now. bye. =)

u know something? fuck you.
dont tempt my anger. its raging. =)

myboo

18/3/2006

theres is this particular soong in my playlist that totally suits my feeling.


"My Boo"(feat. Alicia Keys)

[Usher intro:]
There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

oh well, i should be studying now. bye. =)

u know something? fuck you.
dont tempt my anger. its raging. =)

Thursday, March 16, 2006

cries

16/3/2006

alright. im done with physics. i cant take it no more. had been quite unproductive in studying today. dang it~ i miss my pri school band. the competition is coming and i think there is still room for improvement. jia you to them!!!

had a quarrelled with my brother just now. and partly its my fault to use the "ah beng" attitude to scold him. so, if he is reading this, yep.. sorry

there are only 3 groups of people that are very important to my heart.
1)family. which include my tt stupid childhood friend. =x
2)my girl
3)my brothers and best friend.

and i would cry for 3 groups of people,
1)family,
2)my girl
3)best friend.

u would be thinking why not brothers? reason is because, they are heartless creatures who wont bother if u cry. wahahahaa.. f**k them.

physics~~
bye

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

moon

13/3/2006

the commonwealthphotos competition results were out. sad to say, i didnt win anything, neither do anyone from pjc. sadded~~

tired day. studied with debbie and norman. all the way from 8am-8pm. crazy shit. my brain is now sub-consious,half of it which are filled with physics formula. the other half is all about dota.
and in just a while, im goin lan with debbie and norman!!

anyway, the moon is very pretty today. its covering the stars that are twinkling beside it.

studyin with them again at 7am. at this rate, im going to die by the age of 20.

afiq send me this song, and find it quite meaningful.


Artist: Muse Lyrics
Song: Unintended Lyrics

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

Saturday, March 11, 2006

common tests

hear i am
sitting upon this chair
showing others the skills of my rap
and no one gonna beat me
cause i am going on the top and beat the rest
im standing tall
im beating strong
im going to show u guys
how im going score the Aces
i rap in front of my friends
and there they are
trying to laugh at my act
but i aint gonna stop
i aint gonna walk
i aint gonna cover up this gig
for this gig im performing
its cool and hip
like the hippo in the river sea

im going on to type this verse two
and u gonna continue reading this entry too
my darkest side are surfacing
like the death that is cornering
beware and sit back
and enjoy this shit that im bring to you guys

a lonely gal, a homeless family
a broken dream, a shattered future
she sat down in the streets
begging others for some sweets
all she wanted was some food from the rich
but all she get was rubbish from the bins
she scrumbled around eating ants
hoping that she can last till the end
but god is never passionate to her
He wants her to suffer and die without a hearse
she lives on and never bows down to fate
she held up and never looks down on her face
demons start to grow in her
and angels begin to die in tears
all that was present was the dark bleak future
all she wants to do now is to kill all those bitches

i wanted to write more about this poor gal
a gal stricken with poverty and live on fierce
but my brain just cant think more stuff
for norman is there making lots of noise
hes screaming like an alien from outer space
and he came here to sell toothpaste
i know this a stupid cheer
but anyway
take care friends
for im taking out my viceroy cigar
and smoke til death =)

Friday, March 10, 2006

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

history

8/3/2006

i get down on my knees and pray
as i watches time passes by each day
history doesnt seems to end
and future doesnt seems near to me
im still holding to the past that lingers
as i saw the photo of you
wearing those ear-rings i bought for you
my heart just cant help
but break into pieces.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

stresss

my life is shattered

my family is broken

my trust is lost

my friends, they are there, i know. but.. at times, friends.. they are like the flow of the river. they come, and go. i know there are many true friends out there, but im sorry. my thinking is a lil different. i never believe in promises. they are meant to be broken.
however, thanks for those who made an impact in my life.
friends are memories in my soul. thanks alot.

my brothers, thanks alot. i don have to tell them anything. i believe they understand how i am feeling right now. 4 years of knowing them, i really treasure them a lot.

my faith has vanished

my hopes are gone

i dont know.

im just an ordinary being who is now crossing a difficult path in my life.

my strength, faith, beliefs , friends, brothers, family, trust, friendship, relationships, love, crush are tested.

im still holding on though, i won fall down, i will never fall down on my feets and bow down to fate. i won let fate control me, i will control fate.

my heart is still beating strong.

im still kicking hard.

after tonight, im still the ivan everyone know and see. (which is subjective)

to my friends:
thanks. u guys are great.

to bryan:
you are great too. =)

to my brothers:
what can i say to you guys? you guys stink. the memories of us keep me moving ahead when im down. i love them. especially bkor,mei,wc,rave. =)

to my mom:
im really sorry. i broke ur heart. i broke ur trust. im really sorry.

to my dad:
fcuk u, but i love u still

to my brother and sister:
study hard. i will buy the laptops i promise u guys.

to my memories:
be it good or bad, keep it safe.

to ivan:
stay strong

to those who are reading:
thanks for reading this far.

to God:
i don know who you are, but im sure you are in my heart

i will survive this obstacle.

DONT ASK ME WHAT HAPPEN. just feel my words and understand my feelings.

God bless my friends
my brothers
my family
my ex
my crush (afiq should know. so do my brothers)

=))

5/3/2006