I thought, maybe this is the only avenue to channel all my thoughts and have everything that happened last night piled away.

The morning rain did little to make my mood feel better. The sun that is being covered by the grey clouds is a metaphor to what Im feeling right now. My vision is foggy and I couldnt catch a breathe with the cold wind streaming into my freezing nose. I'm tired, suffering from what they called near-depression syndrome, and I'm doing my very best to make the best out of everything. I hid my sadness from my parents, I kept my deepest emotions in my heart, I threw away all the trust I've gave her.

The rain is getting heavier and with every drops that hit the ground, my heart gave another crack. The serene surroundings in the open seems to be calming everyone's heart but inside this house, my mp3 is blasting with rock music that is deafening every thoughts that are trying to sound my soul.

I thought I've given my best. My friends said its not my fault but still, Im blaming myself for everything that happened. It seems like everything Ive done in the past are useless, like a monument that was being craved by blood and sweat of an artist but turned into a shit in the eyes of those who didnt appreciate it.

" If only we could go back in time then things may be different now." That's what people always say when things happen. I do hope such things are possible too, then everything that had happened will not happen.

As a brother, I dont care what mistakes she made, I dont want to know the seriousness of her offences, all I ever want to do is to see her grow up, from a girl to a lady. I dont care how long that will take, it doenst matter to me. Until that day has come, I will give her a hug and tell her," You've made it."

I love her and I do. She is one of the 3 women of my life.

Time pass with every words that I typed. Out of the window, the clouds are clearing and the rain is getting lighter. I could feel the rays of the sun touching my skin and the breeze that brushes through my cheek. My nose is cleared of the icy dew and Im breathing strongly again. Gasping for oxygen, my heart feels stronger and my soul is ready to brave the storm ahead.

I love her more than anyone else.

Everyday without fail, Im praying for her.

Off from National Day and I spent my whole day doing nothing, apart from watching countless movies though.



Life in army is getting quite tough recently because of a careless mistake my section made. The seriousness of this mistake did send my commanders to nuts and as a result, we were sent to hell to receive countless tekan-sessions. Adding to the pain from these trainings was the hot and sunny sun which drained out the last bit of water from our already-dehydrated bodies. The lack of physical trainings are causing me to put on a lil more flaps of fats on my hip, darn it, I should really do something bout` it before it gets out of hand again.



Blame it on the movie "300" but after watching that movie, the bodies of those guys did throw me out of my seats. For once, I'm really determined to cut down on those extra loads and achieve the perfect abs. Army really did push my body to further boundaries. Physical tasks such as 9 chin ups used to be a dream in the past but now its a norm. Tough and realistic trainings did give me the lil' strength to accomplish more than what I can do. Never did I expect that I could slim down as much and true enough, being fit really does make a person feel much confident. The fall-side of this, Im becoming more of a metrosexual because I watched my diet everyday. Sinful foods are only allowed during weekend and only to a certain limit.



Laugh at me but I'm hoping to hit at least 4 pacs on my abs and nice curvature of torso by the end of this year. Counting down, I still got 4 months to trained so I guess its possible to achieve it.


uh-huh.

Me and my love are already 4 months together. =)

Book in alr. Bye.

Life was so simple back then. Everything was just alright. A 3-room HDB, squats for toilets, miniature air-conditioner, iron-grilled gate, ugly bulky doors. As a kid, Im happy with my life. Everytime I dug out the photo albums of the past, I got sad because of the memories. My sister and brother were so innocent and young. I always love them till now.

There is this photo that I held for quite a while, the one that shows our complete family potrait.

Fcuk it. Im getting emo and I hate these emotions that are rushing through me and out of my guts.

Growing up. How often do we paused and reminiscence the past?

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The clouds are gathering and I couldnt see the stars. And I hate it because the stars are the only things that could lift my mood during the night.

Stars. Do they hear my prayers?