okay

The fan is chattering
sounds of dust choking
The radio is singing
words of love confusing
The stars are glittering
waves of light touching
No one is stopping
pieces of heart breaking
The scenes are replaying
parts of memories resonating
But the season is ending
and things are changing
We are always moving
This world that never stops spinning.

bye reeve. all the best to brunei.

hehe sister, next week? we can meet at jp u know. after i finish work.

# screwed up

Feeling totally screwed up and shit right now. And the headache that I have been having for the past 2 days aint doin any good instead making things worse. Shit.

Dont wait till you lose it then you start to regret. Cherish what've you got and treasure those memories.

Do you look up the sky and speak to the stars? Cause I do and I know of one person who does it too. And we just find out how amusing and uniquely we are surviving in this world thinking that fairytales do exist and so do the stars that speak our minds.

# your eyes

I find myself enjoying this calm and serene evening, ignoring everything that are happening around me. I choose to procastinate and wait for things to happen. After spending an evening with SiangLung at Queensway finding for his CNY shirts, I decided to change to my PT attire and went for a 40 mins run around my neighbourhood. Unlike any other runs I had, today's run was slow and relaxing. I ran for a while, found myself a dark spot where I just gaze upon the quiet night sky, had a silent prayer and carry on with the run. Many thoughts ran unanswered although I managed to finish my run.

I dont know what is happening man.

Screwed myself.

Right now, I am just waiting for Eminem's ablum to be out in the stores so I can purchased them. After which, you will find that angry and annoying Ivan back for a little while with no poems but dirty raps.

And I felt so digusted when I heard daddy talking to her. Darn if u know who I am talking about.

I registered for Class 2B alr. Few more months and a Vespa scooter will be mine. muahaha.

I hate being myself at times.

#stars

"Then.. After.. I didnt hope at all. I didnt want Chloe to be anyone else's little girl." Addie gently off a rectangle around the grave. " But she has to be somewhere, doesnt she?"

Jack cleared his throat. " The Inuit say that the stars are holes in heaven. And everytime we see the people we loved shining through, we know they're happy."

-Jodi Picoult, Salem Falls

If you have realised, most of my poems revolve around this one particular thing, the stars. I dont know but since young, I had always find the stars and night sky very fascinating. Having this idea that what would it be like for the other beings to be living in another farfar away place from earth. What if God created another place that looks like earth and He is governing another place too? What if God is a She? Okay. That was random and uncalled for anyway.

But the stars, the cosmo and the universe, they never fail to excite me with the void that they had created in my soul.

oh wells. I guess it is time to sleep.

Im finding hard to express the person whom i really want to be.

Goodnight.

Vespa GTV 125

This time, I am going to do it.

Im going to take up Class 2B and license get my scooter.

My Vespa Retro Scooter.

I didnt dial your number
because I needed someone to talk to
Arms to lay on
Or sweet words to fill my ears
I didnt call you because I cant hook up my speakers
Or kill the spider above my bed
I was just wondering why
you havent called.

-Jill Scott, The Moments, the Minutes, the Hours.

I just borrowed this Lit. poems book by Jill Scott from the the Library and gosh, it's a nice book. Basically everything inside the book are poems, words that are written and kept with her for many years before it was published in 2004. I'm thinking I shall have a compilations of the many poems i'd wrote and is still writing. And to come to think about it, I used to write rap and Ive even got people calling me the next 10 Cent. haha. Courtesy of BFF.

If given a chance to let your life story be interviewed and published, how would you want it to be? The thing about life is this, a principle which Ive always abided to as I live my life, is that we are the authors of the book of life. I dont believe in God or whatever that He or They determine the path of life and I think it is bullshit. No offences but if you think about it, if our lives belong to them, darn, why do they even bother to create in the first place? If they have the whole idea of controlling our lives, then seriously, I'll rather go and die than to realized there is someone out there taking control of me.

Now that most of us are in our early 20s , you would've written almost 1/4 of the book( that if you see yourself living to the life of 80 then) and what do you think you've accomplised in life? How interesting has it been? Darn for me, I think if my life journal is to be published, you will realised half of the book is in italic texts, to tell you that those are my thoughts. And throughout my life, Ive been thinking lots of thing and many of which are too redundant to be even execute as an action.

So my new resolution of 2009 is,
Accomplished as many things I would wan to do if I was to die before 010110.
One of which is to finish that short novel I'm writing.

The sky is clear
and we're standing here
The wind is whistling
Can you hear him singing
Of the many things Ive prayed
For a better day ahead

Ive never left your side
Ive always got your back
Like the beautiful stars above
That will be your guide my love

So when you feel like crying
breaking, hating and tearing
Know that my heart is with you
A guardian angel that never leaves you

Ivan Ng.