#230

Surprisingly, I stayed at home for the whole day. The furthest i went was actually Bukit Panjang Plaza. Going to book in 2 hours and I felt like I havent accomplish anything yet. I dont really like being at home. The happiness and laughters that once filled this home seem to be buried behind the think concrete walls. Despite the frantic search for the hope of a family reunion, Im doubtful of the walls being torn down.

Mummy told me that there are guys out there wooing her. I don't know how should I react to this news. Should I be happy for her? I havent really spoke to my dad for quite some time. He had always been hanging out late at night during the friday while I will be out on the weekends. Im still wondering whether daddy still has contact with his cheena mistress.

If there is one thing that I really do hope for..

I want to tear the walls of this home so that the happiness and laughters will once warm the house.

Oh well. Will tthings ever change just by hoping?

Hack.

Shattered windows

Broken dreams

So many things

are happening

within this scene

Im hoping to see

I reaped

whipped

and kicked

my daddy

who couldnt think

of all the misery he brought

to my life and heart

I jammed

gagged and rapped

blasting the music

torturing my ears

the way you tortured my heart

I listened

and I heard

my siste crying by the kerb

alone she weeped

as I saw mummy keep

her clothes she's gonna leave

I think Im sick

with all these thoughts running

I nid a kick

to get myself breathing

and maybe

dont care bout me.

"Alive"

#229.

My sister just recovered from a fever and it's my brother turn to get one. I have been checking on him for the whole night and Im praying hard that he gets well. With all the dengue epidemic in the city, I will start to think otherwise when my mind goes paranoid.

Tomorrow will be going to sentosa with my brothers. Havent been there to sun-tan for quite sometime alr and I hope tomorrow will be a WONDERFUL day. Hopefully it doesnt rain.

A poem for a friend. A distant friend yet close to my heart. Stars. Friend hasnt been really feeling quite alright, so hopefully this will do friend good.

Stars twinkling with streaking light
Gazing under deep night sky
Reminds us of our missing times
When we still have each other touch
Clouds may block the twinkling stars
But never will it last
And its Angel always stood by the side
Blessing and Praying for your life. =)

My Sweetie. =)

Insight.

Not the usual kind of entry that i will try, not about my daily lifestyle, not about my routine and no any of the photos that Im going to upload.

Just an insight about life, the vulnerability of life that all of us are holding with.

True indeed if u read the newspaper, that many lives are lost from disaters and tragedy, be it whether it is natural or unnatural. There is no doubt that at any point of our lives, the life that He gave us could be robbed by Death. Where do we go after this? Heaven, hell or some dimensionless world.

My auntie is a religious person and she was telling me all kind of philosophy about God and Life. In my idea, God doesnt refers to Jesus or Allah or Jade Emperor or any other Almighty of a religion, my God refers to the ultimate being that support lives on Earth. She was saying about the existence of this place where our souls will return after we die and when the world comes to an end. Armageddon will set upon this world, something which I quite believe, but like what we know bout` Mother Earth, this world will resurrect and a new world will be alive.

Gaia. Any idea what is that? Its a Greek mythology person, otherwise known as the Goddess of Earth.

All of us knew it all along how accessible Death is to our lives. He can just take it anytime, anywhere, regardless of any reasons or excuses. Death, as an entity, personifies itself in the form of illnesses, murderers, disaters etc. So what if we know?

Many people are too caught up with their careers that they tend to forsee other goodies that God is giving us. The trees that He gave love to, the clouds that he gave soul to or the river that He gave his feelings to. How often do you look to the sky and thank God that you are still living and kicking hard? I do, umpteen times, that I've got my loved ones with me.

Do live and live hard. A sentence from Mother's Teresa which I always remember, " Life is a game, Play it."

070707. Live Earth cum Ivan's 19th Birthday. =)

Thanks to those who msged me throughout the night while I was doing my guard duty and also to those who forget my birthdays because they didnt bother me much when Im taking my 3hrs shift nap.

My gal gave me a shirt and a card. Shall not reveal about the contents of the card. Its contents are classified above top secret.

My beloved sister gave me this card and a present she made herself. Really sweet of her and treasure it a lot.

Sabrina and my brother got me this book because they know I love to read. Havent really started reading the book but Im anticipating the world and dimension this book is going to give me.

Thankie Cherling for the card. =)

My siblings. They are my pillars of support and the reason why I am still living and typing this entry. After the separation of my parents, they were the one that were much affected from the incident. For them, I told myself to stay strong and brave through this obstacles. If not for the, there is no much reason why should I even bother bout` this family. Never mind about what happen in the past because it's the future that will bring us more challenges. Loves

My brothers. Love us or Hate us, we are all in it together. Shit or no shit, we couldnt care less. That's the way we live our lives.

Man. I spent one hour uploading these photos because the size of the photos were way too big. but oh well. Like to thanks these people because they gave me a birthday surprise at vivo yesterday. Thanks Hehe Family. =)

Sweet of them. Yep.