#230

Surprisingly, I stayed at home for the whole day. The furthest i went was actually Bukit Panjang Plaza. Going to book in 2 hours and I felt like I havent accomplish anything yet. I dont really like being at home. The happiness and laughters that once filled this home seem to be buried behind the think concrete walls. Despite the frantic search for the hope of a family reunion, Im doubtful of the walls being torn down.

Mummy told me that there are guys out there wooing her. I don't know how should I react to this news. Should I be happy for her? I havent really spoke to my dad for quite some time. He had always been hanging out late at night during the friday while I will be out on the weekends. Im still wondering whether daddy still has contact with his cheena mistress.

If there is one thing that I really do hope for..

I want to tear the walls of this home so that the happiness and laughters will once warm the house.

Oh well. Will tthings ever change just by hoping?

Hack.

Shattered windows

Broken dreams

So many things

are happening

within this scene

Im hoping to see

I reaped

whipped

and kicked

my daddy

who couldnt think

of all the misery he brought

to my life and heart

I jammed

gagged and rapped

blasting the music

torturing my ears

the way you tortured my heart

I listened

and I heard

my siste crying by the kerb

alone she weeped

as I saw mummy keep

her clothes she's gonna leave

I think Im sick

with all these thoughts running

I nid a kick

to get myself breathing

and maybe

dont care bout me.

"Alive"