BAND CAMP!

27-28 of december 2006 was a memorable and sweet experience in my life. yep. it was the peps band camp. Overall, the camp was a success although there were last mins work here and there. but these glitches didnt spoil the mood of the concert and the games.

One of the best parts of this camp was when the kids presented us with a certificate of appreciation. Trust me, i didnt see that coming. the cert was prepared by them and was presented to us by the vice-principal. I couldnt remember the words she said to me but it did give me the motivation and spirit to continue my contribution to this camp.

The Night Safari trip was quite a turned-off when the sky started pouring BUT the tram-ride was great. Goodness, the majesty of the King of Beast could be felt metres away. Apart from the lion, i saw my favourite animal, THE HIPPOPOTAMUS. ( did i spell it correctly?)

Im proud to be the leader of Group A because of their active participation in the games. Although under my leadership didnt help them to get the NO.1 but they learnt how to cheat. =x
haha. and they know how a crappy leader i was.

Its only been one day since the camp ended but im starting to miss the whole event.

Memories are flashing past in my mind already. The practice with consonance until 5am, the performance with peps band, the consonance quintet performance, the safari trip, the band practice, me and kangwei teasing norita and ebel, teaching levina to play some parts of the music, playing dodgeball in the boys' sleeping room, having those yucky packaged food, teasing lye ee, mixing with my saxophone section, ahh, the list just goes on.

i miss them.

Xmas Night.

Brothers

The stars were twinkling in the night sky and the rain continues falling. With the surreal environment, everything seems to have paused in the motion. The chirping of the morning birds became louder after each tempo, like his footsteps that seem heavier after each step.

Half drunk with the alcoholic content flowing through the body, the heart began to pump faster and harder. Words are spoken and feelings are shared, thoughts are told and hugs exchanged. Juxtaposing brotherhood and any other things, there is nothing that can break us down.

“li nang xi lin bei siang hou eh hia di.” These are words that only my brothers can understand.

I’m looking you through the glass and I don’t know how much time has passed.

Croaks

Its 3.45am in the morning and trust me, i can hear the sounds of the frogs croaking when im living at the seventh storey!! thats how quiet and serene the night is. with the skies starting to pour heavier, there is little idea when this rain will stop. i hate rains or rather rainy days because it dampens mood. on one hand, it is true that its bring comfort and relaxation, however on the other hand, it brings along the sound of the rain drops splattering on the floor. these sounds of the rain drops is a metaphor of my heart breaking into pieces.

"Croaks, croaks, croaks" The sound of these frogs just grew louder and louder as the night approaches deeper into the night. The colour of the maroon cloud translates that this storm is going to stay for quite a while.

This peaceful night is an advantage to those who lives in a house. however, the streets are still filled with homeless people, people whom they cant find anyone to rely on.

So say a lil prayer and spend this quiet xmas night with your loved ones, and may God bless those who are trying hard to endure this cold chilly night.

"Santa Claus is not a folktales and exists if you just, believe."

Merry Xmas Everyone.

Sleep.

If there is one thing that i would ever want or need, that would be sleep. becasue as a matter of fact, i havent slept for the past 40 or so hours. yep. no kidd, that is how incredible i am. Jigsaw puzzle, band prac, community service, bbq, tea session, these things just hold me thru these 2 days.

im falling alseep anytime soon so i guess i will update on my movie trip and community service.

goodnight everyone. god bless. =)

Lies

Someone please tell me, that those things that happened yesterday were all just lies. at this point of life, with all these memories of you, what i saw prove to be a turning point for me. everything that happened just flash back at that moment when i was in the bus. My hands were trembling, heart was pounding heart, legs were shivering and soul was crying. this is the third time i cried for you since we broke up and these 2 years prove a lot to me.
Like what i mentioned, this turning point will be a turbo-motivation for me to move on.

Ive gotten over you because someone will take my heart, but i will always be there for you.

=)

John 3:16

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, the people were in & out of the cold.
The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers.
He walked up to a policeman & said,
"Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you?
You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there & down the alley
& it's awful cold in there for tonight
.Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."

The policeman looked down at the little boy & said,
"You go down the street to that big white house & you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, & they will let you in."

So he did. He walked up the steps & knocked on the door, & a lady answered.

He looked up & said, "John 3:16."

The lady said, "Come on in, Son."

She took him in & she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, & she went off. The boy sat there for a while & thought to himself: John 3:16 ... I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.Later she came back & asked him "Are you hungry?"

He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, & I guess I could stand a little bit of food."The lady took him in the kitchen & sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate & ate until he couldn't eat any more. Then he thought to himself: John 3:16 ... Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, & he sat there & soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16...I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.

The lady came in & got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight & turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness & looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16 ... I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.

The next morning the lady came back up & took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottomrocker in front of the fireplace & picked up a big old Bible.

She sat down in front of him & looked into his young face & said, "Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently.

He replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it."

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 & began to explain to him about Jesus.Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart & life to Jesus. He sat there & thought: John 3:16 I don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe.

You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing to send His Son to die for me, & how Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand the agony of the Father & every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer & die. I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

okayokay.

today was plain shit. chelsea won wit 3-2 and man u lost wit 1-0. what the hell is with these teams. argh!! we lost the bets because of these shits.

and i was thinking,
that lady doesnt like me or bother bout my shits, why am i still clinging on to this feeling.
darn it, im really determined to move on this time. and i shall draw a fullstop to this feeling.
you can do it ivan!

when things began to fall apart, there is little you can do to bridged that part. with my parents now heading in different directions, i see no hope in patching them back. Being the eldest in the family means a lot, there is so many things you have to juggle at one time. hell shit.

sometime i just want to end this life
and maybe find some time
to kill myself.

should i,
1) jumped down fron 25 storeys.
2) drowned myself.
3) slit my wrist.
4) smoke myself with carbon monoxide.
5) hit by a car.
6) hit by train.
7) bomb myself.

someone please bring me to visit the psychiatrist. okay. i was just joking.

Giorgio Armani is an Italian Brand.

Reminiscing

As usual, i will meet my brothers at the coffeeshop everynight. the group used to be in group of 8-10, den become 8, then 7 , then 6 and now 5. but having small group of true friends do have their advantages. i mean, you understand evey single shit of them till u know what they're darn thinking in their mind. also, thoughts and words can be speak without the fear of offending someone. although conflicts do occur sometime, but these short-term conflicts are ease quickly by other jokes or topics.

Reminiscing the past of my secondary school days, i feel that i havent grown up. haha. it actually depends with whom im with. with my jc friends, i feel more mature, but with my brothers, darn, i feel like i haven grown for one single bit. haha. im now trying to criticise those people, but it is this never-grow-up attitude that really bonds us together. our no-life slogan is held high in the skies, proudly telling everyone how pathetic our lives are.

okay, here are the top 5 stories( memories) that happened in sec.school which i will never forget. laugh laugh laugh. =)

(not arranged in order)
1) prom night at Oriental Hotel. this was one of the madness experiences in my life. imaging having the whole batch of people dancing on the dance floor with you. haha. i still remember that me and my brothers were the one that start the dance and we even went up to the stage to show our "dance". then everyone held rex and threw him up in the air. with the idea of sabotaging him, no one caught him and he stumbled to the floor. ouchh* haha.

2) Gambling Den in School toilet.
you heard of illegal gambling in the news but you willl never imagined that such things took place in UNITY SEC.SCHOOL TOILET! haha. there were two bankers, stupid ones, whose money were cheated by us. i think at one time, there were as many as 25 students in the toilet. picture this, small space, 2 games, 25 people, shouting here and there, exchanging of cards. HAHA. and this took place during cirriculum hours.

3)Knowing Her
it started in 30.7.2004 and ended 2 weeks or so later. but during the days before we got together, we spent many time of our nights, chatting on the phones, strolling at neighbouring parks, texting, every single thing that couples will do. i still remember clearly that night, when i held her hands and ..... oh well, im moving on wit my life and this feeling will eventually come to an end.

4) My English and Chinese Class.
Having only some friends in my own class, i always look forward to english and chinese classes because we are banded according to our grades. Being in the last band for chinese and second last class for english, i feel much happier and stupid because im with my groups of friends.
haha.

5) My Vandalism Experience
Having the reputation of being quite a hooligan, i was caught and charged with vandalism by the school disciplinary committee. haha. with me in this shit was reeve,tik and kaijin. i remembered being called up to the stage and there was the discipline master talking to the school. " REMEMBER THESE FACES. REMEMBER THEM. THEY, THESE PEOPLE, COULD BE THE ONES WHO STEAL YOUR THINGS, HACKED OPEN YOUR LOCKERS, AND VANDALISE THE SCHOOL PROPERTIES. " no bad having free publicity with my name but the condition was hours of CWO. who cares anyway. haha.

now u know why i love my sec.4 life. =)

Keep Holding On

"Keep Holding On"
By Avril Lavigne

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on'
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

yumyum

today was dad's birthday and so i planned to whip some dishes for him. mm. went to borrow some cookery books few days back and managed to prepare some chinese cuisine. rah rah
















names of the dishes:
(in clockwise order):
1) tiger prawns in golden reef.
2) mother nature
3) afiq's meat cooked with lettuce
4) chicken bathing in curry.

oh. what nice names. hahaha =x

Iraq.

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Two car bombs targeting day laborers looking for work exploded within seconds of each other Tuesday on a main square in central Baghdad, killing at least 57 people and wounding more than 150, police said.

By THOMAS WAGNER and QAIS Al-BASHIR, Associated Press Writers

Reflection:

i just think this is world is so bizzare. look at this report that happened just one hour ago. 57 innocent people killed by sucide bombers! bloody shit. i dont know what get into me but my heart is feeling furious and sad. Furious over these idiots who send their bodies to be bombed, and sad over those who are innocent parties in this war. ahh. the most idiotic thing is that we know these situations but there is nothing we can do bout it. how shit!

Sorrows

Having school ended for quite a while, im beginning to miss schooling life. if only the education system doesnt come with exams and stuffs, schools will be a hell ton of fun. sadly to say, exams and tests seem to be the only way to guage the level of our intelligence and the amount of knowledge that we possessed. I miss 05s12. I miss sitting in the cafeteria and have stupid chats with afiq. oh crap.

everything just proves to fast for me to handle, given the fact that ive completed my 2 years of jc-education. i mean, the last thing i remembered, i was still having orientation and meeting new friends. ya. the first person i met and made friend with was weijing? she was my dance partner during O1. haha. i was quite certain that she felt totally uncomfortable dancing with me and i wondered why. then i met ying. we became real good friends after that msn chat and everyone mistook us as couple. oh. shes always my sweet lil' princess. chunjin then started to join our clinque after we discovered a common hatre that we all shared, FAC. the 3 of us began sharing all kinds of gossips and shits bout that person and started hanging out tgt after school. but after the 1st 3 months, ying went to another combi class and i met afiq.

with another stage of life ended, im welcoming a whole new experience in Ns. Enlisting on the Jan12, im filled with anticipation to the kinds of people im going to meet. crazy shit.

the arrival of adulthood does prove a lil too much for me. given the kind of situations ive dealt during my youth, i learned quite a lot of things. although words could not described much of the feelings that ive went through, im thankful of those who have stand by me.

ive been following closely to the situations happening in Iraq these days. ture enough, Im a supporter of George Bush and his Adminstration. When the green light was given for the invasion to Iraq, reports splash across headlines of most newspapers. The arrest of Saddam( satan) was a clear victory and the world were rejoice over the freedom of the Iraqis. The Tyrant ruler is now held in custody and with the death penalty given, i cant wait to see that guy go to hell. What we see now was a totally different scenarios that weve much expected. Bombs taking place everyday and people dying on the streets with no one to care. Yes. that is what is happening. i came across this report on the newspaper and trust me, i really do hope that these killings can come to a stop. Just what do these sucide bombers want? Yaya, they will put words like "Scarifices for The Masses" or "This is War, tradegy cannot be avoided". to me, these are just selfish perceptions or maybe im just too simply naive.

I send my blessings to those survivals and those trying to survive. Stride on. my prayers go out to them.

Need You

i was clearing up my documents when i came across this song that i had wrote.

“Need You”

Verse 1
Your pretty eyes are tender sweet
Your pretty smile makes me weak
I try to hold you close to me
But winning is you is not so easy

I took a step to touch your heart
Holding on to a love that seems so far
I never want to let this love go
Hoping that one day you will understand
That this love for you will always stay

Chorus
Love you,
Are the words I hope you will know
Miss you,
Are the days I haven’t been seeing you
Need you,
Is the reason I want you in my world
And girl, give me your hands
And let me show you how I love you sweet.

Verse 2
Everyone is talking about this whole love
About you and me that seems so true
You are the girl I adore
You are the lady ive a crush on
You are the one I want to be with
You are the only
That I wrote this for

pink leopard

you heard of "pink panther" in the past, but now,
WITH THE ONE AND ONLY PREMIERE OF
THE PINK LEOPARD!














A Ivan Ng Production©

Director: Ivan Ng
Producer: Ivan Ng
Actors: Reeve Tan and Salon Auntie.
Venue: People's Park Centre, LOOK GOOD SALON.

i couldnt help but laugh at this stupid guy's hair. it just makes me feel darn good seeing him in distress.

Synposis:
Reeve had a day off from his work and was planning to get his hair highlighted. He met up with his brother, Ivan , and they both set off on a back-packing trip to People's Park Centre. No doubt that this journey may risk taking their lives, the duo are looking forward to the adventures that lies ahead. sadly, things didnt turn out to the way it is and......

Rated ***** in Ivan's blog.

Abstract:
Reeve:Come on la, even a 2 yr old kid can tell is pink. And look at your skills. These are not highlights, this are patches!
Auntie:Ya this is red wat
Reeve:In the first place you never even show me a catalogue to choose the colours. You make stupid decisions yourself and think that i'll like it? I'll fucking hell make your shop have bad reputation man."
Auntie:So are you threatening me?


to more about the story, please visit the official website: http://www.the-artistic-truth.blogspot.com/

sucide

smoke, clubs, beers, can these desires i had change the way these shits that are happening around me. i smoke, not because im want to act like some shit, i did it because its a habit. smoking its a habit that i adopt, thinking that i could smoke my troubles away. true enough, these shits still linger. so i quit. i drink, not becasue i want to have fun, i drink becasue it numbs my feelings. it has the ability to drain away my sorrows and push the adrenaline around my body so i can feel happy and stupid. ironically, drinking makes me feel foolish when i got drunk and it makes me look stupid when i cry out my misery.

everytime when i face these problems, i hesitate and stagger for a little while. the reason? i do not have the courage to accept these shits and get some solutions to solve them. often, i chose to just run away from reality and hopefully time will heal these wounds. nonetheless, these shits still persist. im often throw into a dilemma when handling these affairs, which side should i be bias to and who should i be bias against.

no doubt that i could not run away from this forever. im going into the army in a month time and im worried for my sibling, especially my lil sis. lil seems to be in contrast to the age she is but she is still that innocent gal in my heart. if i had to choose the position some women i had in my life, my sister will be in the no.1 spot which follows by my mom then my ex.

sometime reality does has the potential to kill someone. it can push a person off the ledge of skyscraper or entice a person to walk into the middle of the road and get himself killed. the slightest thought of such perception is dangerous considering the fact i experienced this few days back. thank god i met my brothers, iris, and the stars. the stars, she always brighten the darkest moment of my life.

can i love you like the way i always did?
i still........

prom night